How To Surround Yourself With Good People

There are givers and takers in this world. Each one would not be able to live without the other, and neither are inherently bad. If you find yourself constantly struggling to keep quality friends, then maybe you need to access who you are and what you are looking for.

Recognize your priorities: First, you need to know where your foundational beliefs lie. That will then show you where your priorities are. Ask yourself hard questions about what is important to you in life. Think about what attributes are most admirable to you, and search for those qualities in people near you. Before you can gain quality friends, you must be a quality friend. Develop these characteristics that will attract like-minded people.

What to look for:

  1. Look for selfless behavior: Look for someone who is a true friend will put you before themself. They will think of you and how their actions affect you and the others around them. Look for people who care for those near them. A red flag is if the person constantly talks about themself and never asks how you are doing. Immediately, you can tell that they are self-centric. It’s difficult for them to look past their own needs and desires.
  2. Look for integrity: Good people to have around you are those with a high sense of integrity. You want someone who is honest is every situation. If you can’t trust your friend, then there is very little depth to that relationship. Surround yourself with people of integrity who will stand up and fight for the voiceless. You want to be with people who are dependable and stick to their word. If you can’t rely on your friend having your back, then that person is probably not someone you want to be closely associated with.
  3. Look for confrontation: This one may seem odd, but if your friend never pushes you, then the relationship is stagnant. Neither you or the other person will ever grow from one another. A friend should be able to confront you on difficult topics in a loving manner that enriches you. Friends don’t need to agree on every topic. You want to ask each other difficult questions to sharpen one another, but you don’t want constant fights and petty arguments. Be positive influences on each other by getting out of your comfort zone. If you do come across an argument, then value and respect one another for viewing things from different perspectives, and try to come to a resolution.
  4. Look for people who support you: You want someone who is in your corner when things get tough. Life comes in waves–there are peaks and valleys. Have good friends nearby when the dark times hit to help you make it through. Things are never quite as difficult when you have someone standing by your side.

Last of all, make time for these friendships. Don’t use someone when it’s convenient for you. If your natural tendency is to be a Taker, then temper that by learning how to give. Vice versa, if you’re an innate giver, learn how to stand up for yourself. Fight for relationships by making time to spend with the people that matter.

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