What do you do when your feelings get hurt? Or, someone treats you poorly? What if you didn’t get the promotion at work that you were promised? Or, you and a friend have a falling out?

You’ve probably been told to “Let it go…” – but that’s not as easy as it sounds. After all, there’s a complex range of emotions involved. Yet, deep down, you probably do know that letting it go is the healthiest option, but how do you go about it? 

If you’re ready to let “it” go – no matter what “it” is – here are some steps you can take to help!

• Come Up with a Phrase or Mantra to Fight Negative Thoughts: It can be hard to keep those negative thoughts at bay but think about creating a positive phrase or mantra that you can repeat to yourself. Repeating a mantra can give your self-esteem that quick boost it needs at the moment.
• Create Some Distance: This may not be possible in all situations, but if you can put some distance between yourself and the cause of your hurt – most likely a person – then the old adage of “time heals all things…” might be able to help. 
• Focus on Yourself: When you experience something that causes you to hurt, it’s the perfect time to put the focus on yourself. Engage in activities that make you happy. Do something to improve your life – perhaps, personally or professionally. When you focus on yourself, you will help to put those hurt feelings aside.
• Stay in the Moment: Living in the past or asking what you could have done to change the situation that brought you pain may not be what you need at this time. After all, you can’t change what happened. Instead, focus on the moment. Stay present and work with what’s going on in your life now.
• Be Kind to Yourself: Are you always there to help your friends and family when they are going through tough times? Do you know just the right words to say? Then practice these skills on yourself. Yes, be kind to yourself – it’s one of the most important things you can do.
• Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions: Of course, you can’t ignore the emotions that you are feeling. Feel them, work through them, and then decide how you’re going to get past them.
• Practice Self-Care: Self-care means different things to different people, but now is the time to practice some. Whether it means some time spent reading a good book or a home spa day, know that self-care can boost your spirits.
• Reach Out to Your People: During the tough times, reach out to the people that lift you up – and let them do just that! 
• Talk About It: If you think it will be beneficial, talk about what you went through with someone you can trust and confide in. They may be able to help you with gaining some perspective.
• Stay Busy: This may be the ideal time to stay busy. When you’re busy, there’s no time to wallow in negative emotions. Whether it be volunteering, taking a class, or helping with a big project at work, staying occupied might be what you need.
• Give It Time: Yes, time does help. So, give yourself time to deal with what’s happened and your emotions.
• Forgive: If the situation calls for it, forgive. This can be hard, and you may never forget, but forgiveness does a lot for your peace of mind. 
• Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you’re finding it too difficult to “let go” on your own, seek professional help. A counselor may be able to offer you additional tools to help.

Letting go may not be easy, especially if you’ve been hurt deeply, but in the long run, it’s what’s best for you. Follow these steps to put yourself in a better emotional state when you need to let go of pain or anger.